CUBAN IDIOSYNCRASY.
Cubans are the most exaggerated people in the world! And this statement is proof of that.
We have the most beautiful beaches, the bluest sky, the deepest ocean, the greenest countryside. Everybody knows that we produce the best boxers, baseball players, runners and jumpers.
We love to brag about our national treasures. And justifiably so. There is no other malecon in the world like the one in Havana. No other nightclub like the Tropicana. Our capitol building is similar but taller than the one in Washington. And the carnaval de Santiago can easily compete with the one in Rio.
And let's not talk about our gorgeous women. They are the most beautiful in the universe, all with shapely breasts, wasp-like waists and voluptuous hips. And our men are famous for their courage, intelligence and inventiveness. Besides all being modeled after Michael Angelo's David.
Do you know a person that can dance better than a Cuban? And the way a mulata moves her hips at the rhythm of a set of bongos is more enticing and exhilarating than two Viagra pills!
Cuban cuisine is the most delicious. And we are so modest about it that we named one or our most appetizing dishes "Ropa Vieja" (Old clothing) when we should have called it "Manjar de dioses" (god's gourmet food).
Italian gelato is good, but our mantecado is even better. Our beer is stronger than the German's and the Bacardi rum is unparalleled (ask Hemingway about it). Our espresso coffee is so thick that it can hold a teaspoon in the middle. And how many entrepreneurs have tried to copy the tobacco from Vuelta Abajo in other countries without success?
And we have no defects. Honest! Foreigners may accuse us of talking too fast and loud, but I assure you that we are not really arguing or trying to yell higher than our friends; we are simply having a conversation. We constantly move our hands while talking to give more emphasis to our words. We also continually interrupt other persons because we know beforehand what they are going to say...and they are always wrong. We are experts in every topic, from baseball to nuclear science. As we say in our country: "la sabemos toda" (we know everything).
Others may allege that we are arrogant, egotistic or presumptuous. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I can guarantee you that we are not vainglorious, in the least...even though God knows that we have enough reasons to be!
Our national customs and traditions are the most authentic and everlasting. Even our superstitions are the weirdest. Have you ever heard of tying the devil's balls with a cord for the purpose of finding a lost item?
Our imagination and ingenuity is the envy of the rest of the world. Who else but a Cuban can operate a car without a fuel pump, feeding the gas to the carburetor by hand through a funnel and pipe from the passenger seat? Or make a television dish antenna with household materials. Or turn an empty can of coffee into a women's bidet!
If you are Cuban, congratulations! You know exactly what I'm talking about. If you are married to one, you are probably constantly reminded of the fact that you are so lucky. If you're a foreigner, I pity you. Because you can only dream about the honor and privilege of having been born in "the most beautiful land that human eyes have ever seen." Which is what Columbus said when he landed in our island.
...But that's another story.
(These are excerpts from my book HISTORY OF CUBA (From a twisted point of view) - E-mail me at alvarcorp@msn.com if you want details.

FACTS ABOUT SCANDINAVIA

My wife and I just returned from a trip to Scandinavia. It is a land of beautiful scenery, castles, palaces and forts, medieval towns, fjords and waterfalls, extensive forests and densely cultivated areas, magnificent architecture and gorgeous friendly people. We enjoyed two full weeks in Denmark, Sweden and Norway. It was a hectic pace adventure with lots of walking, sometimes under light rain and cool temperatures. One of our most delightful vacations ever and, best of all, it was a learning experience. Here are some facts that we uncovered by listening to our tour director, talking to lots of natives in the street, from Internet web sites and from personal experience. These are my particular observations; you can draw your own conclusion.
The official government system in Scandinavia is called "constitutional monarchy with a parliamentary system". Technically, it is classified as a "welfare state", which means that the government "takes care of you". Of course, to be able to do that, you have to take care of the government. This is accomplished by heavy taxes. Simply put, the more you make the more taxes you have to pay. The purpose of this policy is the "redistribution of wealth". In other words, to level the income of all the citizens.
There are no poor people; but there are no rich people either. The only difference between this system and communism is that in communism everybody is poor and nobody is happy; and in a welfare state, people are neither poor nor rich, and almost everybody is happy. This ideology has been in operation for over 100 years, so everyone was born under it and there is no option for anything else. They have no alternative but to be happy about it.
Average residents in Denmark pay first their income labor market contribution of 8%, other special contributions of 1% and income tax of 59%. In all of Scandinavia there is the "value added tax" (VAT) of 25% imposed on anything that you buy. Besides the VAT, all goods pay "point taxes", which differs from article to article, and no normal resident has any grasp of this type of tax. So when a resident in Denmark has bought the everyday necessities, his tax has increased to some unknown level of more than 70%. Our guide informed us that she makes $60,000.00 a year and has to pay about 75% in taxes, taking home only $15,000.00, but she is very happy with the system, because all the "free" benefits (education from kindergarten to college, health care, maternity leave (up to 52 weeks) retirement, etc. I asked her: "Wouldn't it be better to keep the remaining $45,000.00 and pay yourself for all these things and still have extra money to buy a car?" She responded with silly smile, "Why would I want a car for?"
Ownership of cars in Denmark and Sweden is very difficult, to say the least. The government discourages it by having an excellent and economic transportation network. Most people own two bicycles: one to go from their homes to the railroad station, take the train to the city where another bike is waiting for you to take you to work. After work, the routine is reversed. And they are very happy about this practice because they have been taught that it is good for the environment and the body.
A compact car costs about $30,000.00 and is first taxed with the VAT of 25%. Then the car sales tax is 180% on top of that. So the car costs $91,000.00. Besides, there is another yearly fee, according to the weight, plus insurance. Gasoline is more than $9.00 a gallon, even in Norway where they produce oil. Parking garages charge $9.00 an hour.
Home ownership is hereditary as very few people can afford to buy a home. Apartments are very scarce also, taking up to 20 years to find one. When a child is born, the parents sign him up for an apartment with the hope that he'll get one when he becomes and adult.
Average salary for teachers and bookkeepers is $65,000.00; Doctors make $120,000.00 to $200,000.00. But remember, the more you make, the higher the tax. It can go up to 92% of your income! Retirement is obligatory after 40 years of service, with 60% of your salary or a minimum of $1,000.00 a month. A retired person that makes $1,000.00 a month usually stays home at all times, as he can't afford to go to a restaurant or any other entertainment. Very few people save money in the banks. Some don't do it for fear of being penalized even more.
Labor union membership is obligatory by law and cost about $200.00 a year. Minimum wage is $25.00 an hour. A worker cannot be fired after one year employment, works 35 hours a week and is entitled to six weeks paid vacation. Nobody works overtime because this could lift him to a higher tax rate; besides, a person that works long hours has little chance of a promotion. Companies look for employees that take time for doctor's appointments, to take their son to a football game or any other personal problems. This is the person that has a big chance for a promotion because he "has a life".
The majority is unhappy about their universal health care system. If a woman develops breast cancer, it could take her up to 6 months to see a specialist, the same amount of time to be operated and another 6 months to start treatments. The waiting time for a hip replacement or knee operation depends on your age. The older the person, the more he has to wait and some never make it to the operating room.
Scandinavians do not watch their diet. They eat a lot of whole milk, cheese, butter, pork, ham, bacon, lard drippings and pastries; but there is no obesity. They keep themselves slim with all the daily biking exercise. After 40 or 50, though, their skin turns rough and much wrinkled for their age, due to the wind, sun and cold weather that they encounter while biking. Nobody goes to health spas or gyms.
Expressways don't look at all like ours. There is none with more than two lanes each way, and extremely narrow. When a road crosses another there is no overpass but a circle, where all the traffic enters, very slowly, and then continue on their route.
Denmark is "flat as a pancake" and the roads are lined up with small and big plots of grain fields. The land from the bus looks like a giant shag carpet in light green or beige, dotted with houses and barns painted dark red. Sweden is about the same. The minute that you cross to Norway you can see the difference. A lot more cars on the roads and in the cities. There are more than 100,00 privately owned boats in Norway, which indicates that it is a richer nation compared with Denmark and Sweden. The prices are also the highest in Europe, probably in the world. It is undoubtedly, the most beautiful Scandinavian country with magnificent mountains, waterfalls, river and lakes, deep green forests and cultivated lots. And let's not forget the incredible fjords! A famous phrase is that Norway is a feast for the eye...and a nightmare for the pocket.
VARIOUS: Gay marriage is permitted by law. Abortions are encouraged and paid by the government. Cancer and heart disease are the main causes of death. There is no Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Eve is more festive that Christmas Day itself. 85% of the citizens belong to the Lutheran religion, but very few people attend church. No bags are provided at the stores; you have to bring your own or pay 6 or 7 cents for one. A simple dinner for two with beer (no dessert) cost us $82.00 in Tivoli, Denmark. A 6 ounce steak cost $42.00 in Bergen, Norway. A hamburger with fries is $25.00. In Denmark a soda costs $4.00 and a beer $6.00. In Norway is $8.00 for a soda and $12.00 for a beer.
I'd like that you now close your eyes and envision a life without a car (if you own one you'd probably use it in Sundays only) making the same salary as a paper delivery boy and paying $20.00 for a hot dog and $9.00 for a gallon of gasoline. Now open your eyes and tell me how you feel by living in a country that is not a "welfare state", that provides a lot of "free" benefits. Yes, please, OPEN YOUR EYES!

LOOK AT MY PHOTOS - CLICK ON "SCANDINAVIA by J. Alvarez."

Part 2 - PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE

CUBA B.C. (before Castro) was indeed a paradise; not only for its natural beauty, the fantastic beaches and the fine colonial architecture. Our nation enjoyed economical and social advantages over the rest of Latin American countries. With a population of six million inhabitants, there were about 3,600 factories of all kinds and an innumerable amount of big and small businesses throughout the island, such as butcher shops, fish markets, bakeries (with the most delicious bread I've ever tasted) pharmacies, restaurants and cafeterias. Every city had many food, clothing, shoes, jewelry, electronics, furniture, hardware and appliance stores. You name them, we had them. All stocked with good quality products, in ample supply and at reasonable prices.

The streets and stores were teeming with well dressed people. There were not many millionaires, but not many poor people either. Cubans were pacific, happy, musical people. We created the zapateo, habanera, son, son montuno, danza, danzon, decima criolla, guajira de salon, bolero, rumba, conga, pregon, guaracha, guaguanco, pachanga, charanga, mambo, cha-cha, etc. Not a single new rhythm has been created after Castro!

Cuba had more than 160 sugar mills and over 200 sugar refineries. We had 40 national and international banks with 200 branches. In 1958, there were a total of five and a half million meat cattle, with almost one million milking cows. The industry supplied the home market with abundant meat and also exported cattle. (The bovine population today is one third of what it used to be, and meat is used for export or the tourist industry. When it is clandestinely obtained by a Cuban, it is referred to as "la prohibida", the forbidden one. If caught in fraganti, you are condemned to a four-year jail sentence.)

There were over 300 private companies of public transportation with approximately 5,000 buses. There were more than 60 freight companies with almost 50,000 trucks to transport goods all over the island. (The only good buses today are for tourists. The people have to travel standing up on the old freight trucks, horse-drawn carts, bicycles, by horse, or create their own method.)

Very little of the above mentioned products are available today in CUBA A.C. (after Castro) unless people have dollars to buy them at special shops. The stores that were once full of merchandise started to become empty as soon as they were nationalized. What was the reason to do this? Little by little they all disappeared. Now there are long lines to buy a single product. What happened to all these fine stores? Now when a product is available, a long line is formed right away. But why are all these Cuban products not available anymore? Anybody can see that it is not because of the U.S. embargo, as Castro illogically claims.

I cannot detail all the atrocities that Castro have inflicted on the Cuban people, because it would take me too long. Read my book "PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE. A personal reflection on the island of Cuba" if you are interested in knowing the whole truth. E-mail me at alvarcorp@msn.com for details.

If you read my book, you will coincide with me that Cuba is not a communist country. The separation of classes, the incredible difference between the hospitals for high officials and foreigners with dollars, the fact that nationals are forbidden to enter fancy hotels and restaurants that are exclusively for tourists, are all the opposite of the communist doctrine teachings. Cuba is a totalitarian tyranny, led by a brutal, sanguinary, egotistical psychopath. And do not ask me about his brother. He is probably worse.
I'm going to touch just a little on the jail system. There have been political prisoners in Cuba during other dictatorships. During the terrible term of Gerardo Machado, from 1929 to 1933, there were about 5,000 men in jail. About 500 prisoners were kept during Batista's dictatorship. Up to date, more than one million Cubans have served sentences in Castro's infamous jails, ranging from one to thirty years. One of every 11 citizens is now of have been in prison!

But I think that the most appalling and miserable effect of the Cuban revolution is the separation of the families. The suffering and anguish that Castro's obstinate ego inflicted on the families defies explanation. This is the crime for which he will never be able to pay, not even if we hang him from his genitals.

I suffered on my own flesh the consequences of exile from my country. I had to wait nineteen long years to finally be allowed to go back and visit my family. I saw my mother, on that occasion, for only a couple of days and my father for just two hours. Others had it much worse. Innocent children that left their homeland never to see their parents again. Men that drowned in the Gulf of Mexico leaving the rest of their relatives behind. Whole families that have been shot down by Cuban patrol boats while trying to escape. Each case is a denouncing testimonial to my homeland's agony.

This is just a glimpse of Castro's Cuba. So immensely different of the one before that dreadful date of January 1, 1959. I pray that some day (please God, before I die) Cuba will return to the same old, democratic, happy country that I once knew.

VIEW PHOTOS OF CUBA BC & AC

PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE

PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE - PART 1. "Es la tierra mas hermosa que ojos humanos hayan visto" exclaimed Columbus when he arrived at the coast of Oriente, Cuba, in October 27, 1492. Well, he said in Spanish and I'm quoting him. If you want a translation... "It's the most beautiful land that human eyes have ever seen."
The Cuban natives that had lived in the island for thousands of years came to welcome him and he called them Indians. Well, for being in Oriente, he really was disoriented.
It was not until two decades later that the Spanish colonization of Cuba started, headed by don Diego Velazquez. In a few years,the indigenous population was decimated, due to cruel treatment and strange diseases.
In 1895, the Cuban won independence from Spain, with a little help from an American cowboy by the name of Teddy Roosevelt. We Cubans had a long list of presidents and dictators that is infested with corruption, dishonesty and lies, ending with the most corrupt, most dishonest and biggest liar of them all.
I must confess that I was among the 99% of the population who were ardent admirers of Fidel Castro. On his first interview from the Sierra Maestra -where he was staging a guerrilla warfare against Batista- he mentioned to Herbert Mathews, an American reporter, a list of his intentions for the future of Cuba: freedom of the press, land reform, an end to corruption, no more dictatorships, no more prostitution or gambling, no crime, no unemployment, etc. One more promise: we were going to have free, transparent elections pretty soon...and he wouldn't accept any position in the new government. Today, all these problems are ten times worse, and the man that didn't want any position has been in power for 50 years!
I left Cuba in 1960 (one year after Castro's takeover) and have visited it four times; the first in 1979, after a 19-year absence. I was the first person from my hometown to leave for political reasons, and the first one to return. How would they receive me? I was hoping that no one knew that I was coming.
But the whole town knew, thanks to another of Castro's laws, the "Comite de Vigilancia". Watchdogs in every block that keep records of everything that happens in every house, especially foreign visitors.
I encountered a country that had suffered tremendous changes in just two decades. Every single factory, business or private property had been nationalized. The beautiful colonial buildings had started to show the years of neglect and total lack of maintenance. The service at hotels, restaurants and shops was deplorable. Public services were indescribably awful. And years of malnutrition was also manifest in the appearance of the people. But Castro was blaming the American embargo for all their problems... and the people believed him.
Communism is a system where every citizen is supposed to be equal, but I found FOUR distinct social classes in Cuba today. On top are the elite government officials who have everything. Second in order are the few Cubans that had opened a restaurant in a part of their house or rent a room to tourists and operate in dollars. The third class is composed of the people that have family outside of Cuba and receive dollars from their relatives. Far down on the bottom is the rest of the population and the only "equal" individuals that the communist revolution has created. They make the equivalent of $11.00 a month and have to survive eating the meager supplies they receive under the "rationing card". A little rice, sugar, lard and beans. No meat, chicken, fish or milk. No deodorants, beauty supplies or medicines. These poor people are dying of malnutrition, becoming alcoholics, going out of their minds or committing suicide. Four maladies that are very common in Cuba today.

All the good hotels and restaurants are for the exclusive use of tourists with dollars. The Cuba of today is a country riddled with contradictions and ironies. In a place where waiters and prostitutes earn a lot more than doctors and lawyers, and where capitalist reforms are being used as the last resource to preserve socialist ideals, understanding Cuba is an extraordinary difficult task.

(MORE ABOUT THIS ON MY NEXT BLOG.)